Sad Beautiful Tragic
by Mahokame
Summary: I thought it was the right decision to break up with Brittany at the time. I can't imagine my life without her, but I thought she'd be happier without being tied down by me and the distance. 'Cause we had a beautiful magic love affair. What a sad beautiful tragic love affair. Not a very good summary but please read and possibly give it a review.


**Author's Note:** Okay so I had to right this, it's my head cannon about the Brittana break up. I've been reading a lot of the fanfic and I just don't really agree with most of the break up theories. To me I don't think Santana planned to break up from the beginning of 4x04. I also don't believe the whole "smile" thing for breaking up. I hope you enjoy. I wanted to write this out for a while since this is really how the break up goes down in my head. I also was listening to Sad Beautiful Tragic at the time, which inspired me a lot. Keep in mind I stopped watching Glee after Glease, so I don't know much about the current happening other than Bram and apparently they got "married". This is a one shot, but if a lot of people ask for more I may consider that.

* * *

_In dreams, I meet you in long conversation  
We both wake in lonely beds, and different cities  
And time is ticking a sweet summer race in you  
And you've got your demons and darling they all look like me_

* * *

When I heard about Brittany and Sam dating, reality hit me. I really thought it was the right thing, to break up with her. She was miserable with the distance. I tried so hard to get things to work. It was hard to find the time to talk with all my work and cheerleading practices. If it weren't for the scholarship I feel like I would've just quite cheerleading so I could have more time with Brittany. I can't imagine myself with anyone, but her. Once you've had the best nothing quite compares, no one could ever be as amazing as Brittany. I wish I had never broken up with her. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made.

Here I am now sobbing in my dorm room cuddling the stuffed duck I won for Brittany in a fair years ago, but she gave it to me so I wouldn't be lonely. It's my fault though. I broke up with her and said she could date other people. I didn't expect her to move on so quickly, almost like we meant nothing. I remember coming to the decision to break up with the love of my life.

I went back home to do laundry and see Brittany; at that moment I had no intention of breaking up with her. It was actually quite the opposite. I wanted to work things out; I had gotten her a promise ring. Its silver ring with "I love you forever" engraved on the inside. I planned to give it to her in the choir room after serenading her with _Mine _by Taylor Swift. It was the perfect song, for the longest time I closed myself off to love. I wouldn't let myself love Brittany, but when I finally did it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I still sang the song, but I didn't give her the ring. I couldn't. Not after I broke her so much. All I can think was that moment at Breadsticks when we went to that Rapture meeting. Seeing that Dotty girl so upset and hyperventilating. I didn't think much into it at the time. However, the words Brittany said that night still stay with me. _"You don't get it, you left me behind and it hurt." Then she looked to the girl hyperventilating saying, "That's exactly what it felt like."_ It's not until that moment that the thought of breaking up crossed my mind. She was so broken when she said that, all I could think was that I made her like this. She was that broken and it was all my fault. I couldn't put her through that anymore so I broke up with her. The ring still sits in its black velvet box on my desk mockingly. Now it will be a constant reminder of what I lost.

Sam's a good guy though, and he's actually there. I gave her permission to date other people, so I can't blame her. Even if it breaks me to know there together I guess if Brittany's happy that's all that matters. As long as Brittany's happy, then I don't care at all that I may never be truly happy again, knowing she's happy is enough.

* * *

_'Cause we had a beautiful magic love affair  
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair_

_Distance, timing, break down, fighting_  
_Silence, this train runs off its tracks_  
_Kiss me, try to fix it, would you just try to listen_  
_Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get it back_


End file.
